You Know It's Time to Diet When...

Still from “Car Talk Show” . . .

You Know It's Time to Diet When...

• You dance and it makes the band skip.
• You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
• You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
• Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."
• You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture.
• You ask your partner if an outfit makes your butt look big, and he says, "You mean your haunches?"
• School kids ask you to stand in front of the sun, so they can experience a full eclipse.
• Seismologists monitor your movements from their labs.
• You see the toilet quake in fear when you get near.
• You go for a dip in the ocean, and Miami goes under water.
• The UN Secretary General offers you honorary statehood.
• On a Caribbean cruise, the captain orders you to stay in the center of the ship.
• The left side of your car seems to bottom out a lot.
• Your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets.

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