Thursday, November 26, 2009

You Know It's Time to Diet When...

Still from “Car Talk Show” . . .

You Know It's Time to Diet When...

  • You dance and it makes the band skip.
  • You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
  • You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
  • Your driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."
  • You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture.
  • You ask your partner if an outfit makes your butt look big, and he says, "You mean your haunches?"
  • School kids ask you to stand in front of the sun, so they can experience a full eclipse.
  • Seismologists monitor your movements from their labs.
  • You see the toilet quake in fear when you get near.
  • You go for a dip in the ocean, and Miami goes under water.
  • The UN Secretary General offers you honorary statehood.
  • On a Caribbean cruise, the captain orders you to stay in the center of the ship.
  • The left side of your car seems to bottom out a lot.
  • Your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets.

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